my heart's been hurting lately.
cameron left for camp yesterday and i can't stop thinking about him. it's not his first time away from home, but first time without the siblings. they are always together. at least him and caleb are.
and so i can't stop wondering about him. looking at the clock and wondering what he's doing. wondering about him at night and hoping he's happy and not homesick. hoping that we did the right thing to send him. hoping that he learns so much and makes so many amazing memories. i don't even care if he forgets to shower. i just want him to remember the chapstick and sunblock. :) and to be very, very happy.
it's not the same without him. when any of our kids is missing, it's never the same. always a little quieter. caleb cried and cried last night for cam. broke my heart. but at the same time, i am so glad they have that bond.
i know it's good for him. i know this is one of many times he'll be away. i know i should be happy for him. but inside i am just a mom who loves her boy and thinks he should be home with her. if this is a tiny glimpse of what it feels like when your child goes off to college, i am going to be a wreck.