brothers

they used to be each other's best friend. from the time they 'knew' each other (you know, after that first 8 months of a baby when one's just a blob to the older brother) when one actually takes interest in the other. they were serious at this best friend thing. they were fiercely loyal. they would scheme and play and every now and then fight but quickly make up. one could not be without the other without a little bit of sorrow (apart from school) having chosen to be with other friends was rare and often the one left behind was rather sad. they wanted to start a business together when they grew up. and the thought of one leaving to go to college before the other, heartbreaking. i just tried not to think about it. (sappy, sap, sap) when chris and i would hear best man speeches at weddings that were given by a brother, we'd immediately think of the boys and know they'd be doing the same one day. 

for the most part they liked the same things and disliked the same things. but this last year, changes began emerging. one started growing up, hanging out with friends more, having a different outlook than the other. they started snapping at each other with stinging fierceness. tonight, they were fighting like brothers fight. and i had had enough. my heart broke. i brought up this slow evolution i've been witnessing and with mild drama, i left their room with extreme displeasure with their behavior. minutes later, i heard them discussing their dissatisfaction with each other quietly. both hurt and both talking it through. i know deep down they still adore each other. it's interesting to see your babies grow into their own person, form their own opinions and discuss their feelings. as a mother who has seen many phases so far, i hope that this is a short lived phase. i miss my boys being the best of friends!!

Comments

[Jules The Bling princess]

Jamie, I have two little girls who are only 14 months apart. And I have watched them become the best of friends, just like your boys. I hold the same fear that you have just witnessed and described. I know it might happen one day, but I wish, hope and pray that it doesn't. It's heart-breaking just reading your tale. As a mother in the same predicament, my heart goes out to you. For you, and for them, I hope this phase passes quickly. I have my suspicions it might just be part of growing up (at different speeds). Why is it, I have looked at photos of your children for years, but it is only today, that I have realised, the older boy looks like Chris, and the younger boy looks so much like you. (-: Chin up! Hang in there.

[Cammy]

I agree that this is just a case of your sons growing at different speeds. I think that you will see them bond again once both of them are on the same playing field. Siblings fight. In fact, all of us who live with others do not always get along. I am certain that they will find each other again!

[tara pollard pakosta]

oh they will NEVER lose that brotherly bond, never! I have 5 big brothers and they are super close. I remember when my one brother was going through a divorce, the 4 of them were hugging in a circle with their heads together and crying softly. (the oldest lives in KY so he is not as close with the other 4)...don't worry, their bond is there it will never be gone!
I hope my girls don't go through this, the relationship you describe is so MY GIRLS! they are each others best friend for sure and never ask to play with anyone else.
HUGS!
tara

[Kim]

Jamie, It is so amazing how much Cam and Caleb remind me of Johnny and Anthony. Just know that though they may not always agree, they will always hold a place for each other in their hearts. Its a bond like no other in the world.

[Carol]

We are totally having that same thing going on here, Jamie. Jeremy and Ethan may have started a bit late as they are home schooled but it has hit me hard. Jeremy is 15 and Ethan is 12 and I just want to go back sometimes. Back to when make believe was top of the list and the only problem to solve between them was whether or not the bad guy's super powers were irreversible or not :-) This too will pass and they will once again be each others best man. Brothers were meant to be friends forever.

[Johnny]

Hi Jamie...This reminds me of Anthony and me. Now that we both have our own families, I realize how special that bond between 2 brother is. You know, we did everything together and I think we're better off now cause Anthony and I always had each other growing up. Its awesome to have your brother as your best friend cause no one understands you more than your own brother...well probably my wife understands me more now

[tara]

jamie-so strange, and this made me realize we really just need to be best friends. our kids are in exact same stages. well, admittedly just the boys. hahahaa
SAME THING HAPPENING over here. as drew becomes more "middle school teenager". i think nate and caleb will catch up to their older brothers, and i hope soon.

[Sandy]

Don't you worry Jamie - your boys are just going through a new season...it's great that they're already learning how to work things out. Soon, they'll be doing the best of friends again - as young men. =)

[Jessi]

awwwww.....can't we just freeze them as they are? :)

[Tran Quach]

My boyfriend's favorite quote from The Addams Family, "I love him, I hate him, He IS my brother!" That is how he feels about his relationship with his brother and it's true! :-P Going to eventually make a layout using that quote. :-P

[jennifer mcguire]

i love your honesty. we see the same stuff happening with the girls, too. sibling relationships are amazing, aren't they? hugs!

[Tere]

Oh, I hear you so. I have 2 too (11 & 8). For mine, a lot of it is the younger brother wanting to be just like the older one. But the older one is just annoyed by it all. I can see the happiness in your boys ... you are doing a great job!

[Kellie]

I have two small boys, they adore each other. I am one of those rare women who wasnt desparetly wishing for a little girl. I wanted two boys, because brotherly love is an amazing thing. I know it will come back around in time for you.

[Kim H.]

Sweet boys! I am partial to boys as I have two of them myself. One is 15 and one is 7. I'm lucky to have them both and I do wish they were closer in age, but it wasn't meant to be that way. They love each other and I know when they grow up, the age difference won't matter and they'll have each other. Boys rock!!! Hugs to you Jamie!

[Stephanie Mah]

same stuff happens here too. i think this is part of growing up.
{HUGS} to you.:)

[gudrun]

Oh, your boys are beautiful. I'm sure they'll keep a close relation and love each other even more after this.

Hope you are fine Jamie.

Hugs
gudrun

[kristin]

oh no! this thought never came to mind. i'm going to have to store it away and remember that my babes might not be best buds forever. we've just exited the "one being a blob" phase (within 7 months) and i love the goofy laughter and sometimes love the conspiring. i think it's a good sign they had a conversation about it. maturity.